Destruction in Coronet Gardens

BUILDINGS FLATTENED

CITIZENS REPORT CAVORTING MONSTER

CHURCH FATHER DESCRIBES CITIZENS AS "PATHETIC"

NEW BABBAGE, NB — A victory for the Coronet Gardens Improvement League, who have been pushing for much of the delapidated neighborhood to be demolished, was struck early Friday evening, though possibly not in the manner the league had originally intended.

At approximately seven in the evening, the future home of the Geographical Society on West Abney Parkway was destroyed in a massive explosion which leveled the entire building.  The reason for the explosion is currently unknown, though officials have suggested a gas main leak as the potential cause.

Flying debris from the concussion soon leveled a condemned warehouse on the opposite side of Abney Parkway, next to the Bucket of Blood public house.  Fortunately, both buildings were empty at the time of the explosion.

Suggestions that the destruction was due to a large capering monstrosity were quickly nipped in the bud by Father Ora Moonwoll of the New Babbage Church of the Builder, who was an eye witness to events.  "The utter perfection of the Builder's work is not sufficiently exciting for some of our more pathetic citizens, who must always believe some diabolical force is behind every tragedy." he was quoted as stating earlier today.

Cleanup crews are being assembled at City Hall, and those needing day labor are encouraged to sign up with Mr R Dorchester at City Hall.

Train Derailment South of Falun

TRAIN STRUCK BY UNKNOWN OBJECT

WAGON OF HILLBILLIES NARROWLY MISSED

LOCALS SUSPECT GIANT CARNIVOROUS WORMS

THE FELLS, NB — Early yesterday morning the northbound train from New Babbage to Ouverberg was derailed just south of the small mining town of Falun, due to currently unknown circumstances.

Mere minutes before the train was scheduled to make a stop in Falun, and only moments before the derailment, a wagon filled with mountain folk crossed the tracks, narrowly missing being struck by the train.  'It looked like it were a family.' stated Mr E Howard, engineer of the train.

This wagon was not, however, the reason for the derailment, according to Howard: 'Came close, but the wagon made it across.  T'was a damn fool thing to do, to be sure, but they made it.  Just.  Lucky for them we was slowing down for Falun.  T'was after that we got hit from the side.' [sic]

Eyewitness accounts differ on what exactly struck the train, though all seem to agree that the train was struck by something.  Some have claimed to have witnessed a gargantuan snake slithering rapidly across the tundra, while several others described it as a man-made clockwork devise.  All agree that whatever it was, the coloring was distinctly black; this has resulted in some claiming the incident to be final confirmation for the local legends of the carnivorous black worms, which allegedly dwell in the emptier regions of the Fells.

Whatever struck the train was apparently unharmed enough to exit the scene before anyone could get a proper look, amidst the chaos of the derailment.  Little evidence was seemingly left behind, but the Free Press is assured that experts from New Babbage have already been dispatched to investigate.

No substantial injuries were incurred during the impact, and cleanup of the site is expected to take several days, at least.  The current supposition being advanced at the scene is that the wagon of mountain folk were being pursued by whatever struck the train.  This theory has been, as of yet, unconfirmed by officials at the location of the accident.

Office Damaged In Piscine Attack

ROGUE FISH NAMED AS CULPRITS

OFFICIALS MUM ON STRUCTURAL INSTABILITY

Wheatstone Waterways, NB – The local patent office of the City-State of New Babbage was the scene of a horrific incident that left the building in a shambles. The east and west walls of the office were blown asunder by an as yet unnamed force. A local resident who rushed to the scene of the incident stated that the devastation was unbelievable, and that there was the undeniable stink of fish in the air.

This reporter surveyed the scene and was astounded as to the amount of damage to the building. It was also noted that the foundation around the office was beginning to settle into the canal. City officials at the location were rapidly making preparations to move any of the assets of the office to a safe location that could still be managed to be saved.

A local scientist of some renown who gave a statement to the Free Press on an agreement of anonymity said that in his estimation the attack was caused by a rogue school of flying fish who found their way into the canals of the city and became confused.

 Officials remain tight-lipped and as yet have not made a statement in regards to the incident, or to what measures the city would go to protect the citizenry from this new aquatic threat.