MARSH GAS DRIFTS IN FROM FELLS
MASS HALLUCINATIONS ALLEGEDLY WIDESPREAD
CORONER CLAIMS HYPERBOLIOSIS IS 'TWADDLE'
NEW BABBAGE, NB — If modern science can be believed, a curiously pernicious vapor drifted recently into the city of New Babbage, causing wild and widespread hallucinations in its citizens. This mist, it is said, is to blame for the questionable decisions leading to the recent curfews and the bizzarre and extreme reactions which followed.
The hallucinations are apparently the result of a condition known as hyperboliosis, which was caused by extensive inhalation of vapors believed to have originated in the Fells, north of the city. The effects, according to Dr S Thornley, are wild hallucinations and extremem reactions to the hallucinations.
'Mass hallucinations are not at all uncommon. The good news is, no permanent damage has ever been reported connected with hyperboliosis,' he said earlier today to a representative of the Free Press, and continued, 'however, it is important for citizens to maintain a skeptical attitude toward any memories they may harbor about the last 30 days or so.'
Dr M Miggins —New Bababge Coroner and physician for over 25 years— claims not to be familiar with any condition, defect, or disease, known as hyperbolios. He stated, 'It doesn't mean anything. The word is meant to sound greek, but it's nonsensical twaddle. There is no such condition.'
Regardless, vaccinations will be available, gratis, at City Hall throughout the first week of February.