Wednesday, May 4

Crazed Asylum Worker Vandalizes Newspaper Office

CRAZED MENACE RUNS AMOK!

FREE SPEECH UNDER ASSAULT BY RUFFIAN!



A staff member of the Murgham Asylum willfully and unlawfully damaged the back steps of the New Babbage Free Press office on Tuesday evening. Witnesses state that Dr. Rance Veterinarian began pulling apart the staircase in a frenzy of shouting and frantic activity, and despite his obvious age and infirmity pulled away several of the stair treads before running away towards the pumping station.
“He was acting all nervous and crazy-like” a local urchin was heard to say.
The readers should know that your local newspaper will not be deterred by this wanton attack on the Fourth Estate, and will not rest until the perpetrator is brought to justice for his crimes.

Pugh Lister, Staff Reporter NBFP

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