RODENTS OF UNUSUAL SIZE SPOTTED
FOOD FILTHILY STOLEN
FEAR OF PLAGUE WIDESPREAD
NEW BABBAGE, NB — Joyous holiday festivities were allegedly soured somewhat recently at the Brunel Hall in the up-and-coming Academy district, by hoards of large rodents of unusual size.
An anonymous feline source was quoted as saying: '[The infestation] has been going on since October at least . . . Victor [Morningtown, local hotelier and Maceholder] has been doing everything he can to deny they are there during his parties, but people have been seeing them, snatching meals from tables.'
A current resident of the hotel, Miss G Slattery of England, denied reports of rodents, and —unprompted—cockroaches, as well. 'If anyone has heard rats, it is likely an urchin running loose.' she told a reporter of the Free Press earlier today.
Dr T Fring, expert in zoology, confirms that New Babbage is home to a large breed of rodent, rattus gigantus, which is known to seek shelter in dwellings during winter months. 'They're all over this [redacted] town. We're lousy with them. You can quote me on that.'
It is unknown at the time of writing whether any rats in the city, of any size, are carriers of the plague.