Feral Dogs Run Amok

SEWERS TEEMING WITH ROGUE PESTS

CITY OVERRUN WITH LOST PETS

CLOCKHAVEN, NB. The placid passing of evening was shattered last night by the baying of a lost and lonely dog apparently trapped in the sewer system. The lonely and verbal hound was heard from every drain and gutter within Clockhaven during the twilight hours yesterday.

A source close to City Hall stated that feral animals running at large have been allowed to populate the city’s sewer system unchecked for many years, and no effort has been made to stem the tide of all those unwelcome vermin living beneath the streets.

Several citizens patronizing a local drinking establishment told the Free Press that the dog continued to bark late into the evening, despite efforts by concerned people to locate and quiet the sounding hound.

Hobo Epidemic In Canal District

HOBOS ROAM CANAL DISTRICT STREETS

CLAIM THEY ARE BEING PREYED UPON

DUNSANY INSTITUTE TO BLAME?

NEW BABBAGE, NB — Sources in the Canal District have been reporting a startlingly higher than usual number of hobos and transients cluttering up the neighborhood in the south part of the city.

A city worker who wished to remain nameless has suggested that these same transients generally maintain a low profile during daylight hours, instead preferring to remain hidden beneath the city streets in hidden tunnels and sewer systems.  He refrained from speculating as to what might have led these usually solitary creatures to begin roaming the once safe streets during the day.

One of the transients, however, who would only identify himself to the Free Press as "Stubby" has claimed, 'There be things moved into the area now, yes.  They whisper, and if you ain't tirely [sic] careful, they'll eat you.  Sure enough.'  When asked who he thought was preying on the transients, he replied that it was "Dunsany Folk".

The Dunsany Institute was a medical establishment in the borough of Clockhaven, which closed its doors many years ago.