STAIRCASE WENT MISSING IN THE NIGHT
IMPRESSIVE JOB, SAYS CITY WORKER
STAIRCASE POSSIBLY BEING MELTED DOWN INTO BULLETS
New Babbage, NB — The spiral iron staircase leading up to the Iron Bay Terminal tram stop, at the end of the Brunel line in Coronet Gardens, was absconded with recently.
Nobody seems sure when exactly the staircase went missing. "I noticed it about a week ago." said a gentleman who wished to be known by the non de plum of Count Ballona. "I use that staircase to come and go from the Bucket [of Blood] across the way there. One day it was just, poof, gone."
Mr T Stanhope from the New Babbage Department of Transportation said to a reporter from the Free Press earlier today: "It'd be a [REDACTED] job getting one of them staircases off, especially with nobody seeing. I mean, it was right across from your newspaper's office, did you see anything? Impressive."
Some citizens see this as an indication of a growing trend in municipal affairs. "Ever since that fire at the Town Hall, and Mr Undrby moved his office to a tavern, all of a sudden there's corpses on the canals, staircases are disappearing, what's next?" said a citizen of Coronet Gardens who wished to remain nameless. Mr Undrby was unavailable for comment at the time of publishing.
That the staircase was being melted down for ammunition in a looming gang war is still unconfirmed by the New Babbage Militia at this point, but the Free Press will continue to monitor the situation.