Infestation at the Brunel

RODENTS OF UNUSUAL SIZE SPOTTED

FOOD FILTHILY STOLEN

FEAR OF PLAGUE WIDESPREAD

NEW BABBAGE, NB — Joyous holiday festivities were allegedly soured somewhat recently at the Brunel Hall in the up-and-coming Academy district, by hoards of large rodents of unusual size.

An anonymous feline source was quoted as saying: '[The infestation] has been going on since October at least . . . Victor [Morningtown, local hotelier and Maceholder] has been doing everything he can to deny they are there during his parties, but people have been seeing them, snatching meals from tables.'

A current resident of the hotel, Miss G Slattery of England, denied reports of rodents, and —unprompted—cockroaches, as well. 'If anyone has heard rats, it is likely an urchin running loose.' she told a reporter of the Free Press earlier today.

Dr T Fring, expert in zoology, confirms that New Babbage is home to a large breed of rodent, rattus gigantus, which is known to seek shelter in dwellings during winter months.  'They're all over this [redacted] town.  We're lousy with them.  You can quote me on that.'

It is unknown at the time of writing whether any rats in the city, of any size, are carriers of the plague.

Pancake Race Stolen By Clockwork

CHILDREN'S RACE WON BY HOMELESS GIRL

ADULT'S RACE WON BY LEGGY WOMAN

CROWD CALLS CLOCKWORK'S WIN 'A FIX'

NEW BABBAGE, NB — The annual pancake toss race was held again yesterday afternoon in the Academy of Industry district of New Babbage.  This was the third race of its kind, which is held each year on Shrove Tuesday, commonly known as 'Pancake Tuesday'.

Attendance was impressive as crowds flocked to witness the race which was, as always, held in three parts, those being: The Children's Race, The Adult's Race, and finally, the Adult and Children's Race.

The winner of the Children's Race was a young lady by the name of Miss P Flack of Falun, whilst the winner of the Adult's Race was the mercurial Miss G Saltery of England.  The winner of the Adult and Children's Race, meanwhile, was a clockwork known as 'Primary Gears' of parts unknown.

Some in the crowd questioned whether there ought be a race strictly for clockworks and automatons, as with their flawless mechanical parts they present an unfair advantage over the hardworking humans who bring them into existence.  This may well be, but the Free Press would suggest that since no prizes were awarded the event was all in fun and should remain in such a spirit.

Hotelier Claims Academy As Independent State

ASSISTANT MACE-HOLDER DECLARES INDEPENDANCE

ACT IS 'TECHNICALLY LEGAL'

'MORNINGTOWN SHOULD BE INVADED', SAYS MAYOR'S ASSISTANT

NEW BABBAGE, NB — Local prominent hotelier Mr V Mornington has declared the Academy of Industry as an independent township, having effectively seceded from the City-State of New Babbage.

The surprising move came as a reaction to the Acting Mayor's refusal to bend to the demands recently proposed by the Assistant Mace-Holder of the city, a move made possible through intricate bureaucratic manipulation of municipal bylaws.

'Mornington owns thirty precent of the area, there is precious little the acting mayor can do to counter such an act.  It is, technically, legal.' stated Mr E Pendergust of the New Babbage Department of Land and Holdings, to a representative of the Free Press.

Mr Underby was unavailable for comment, however his assistant Mr R Dorchester stated 'We shall see how long this farce can continue.  By Mr Mornington's own admission, his township is no longer part of the city of New Babbage, so the law implemented after the Obolenskydonia - which is, of course, a New Babbage bylaw - means nothing in the alleged township of Morningtown.'

Mr Dorchester did not wish to venture a guess as to how the acting mayor would react to Mr Mornington's move, but stated that if it were up to him, he 'would invade with extreme prejudice.'