Infestation at the Brunel

RODENTS OF UNUSUAL SIZE SPOTTED

FOOD FILTHILY STOLEN

FEAR OF PLAGUE WIDESPREAD

NEW BABBAGE, NB — Joyous holiday festivities were allegedly soured somewhat recently at the Brunel Hall in the up-and-coming Academy district, by hoards of large rodents of unusual size.

An anonymous feline source was quoted as saying: '[The infestation] has been going on since October at least . . . Victor [Morningtown, local hotelier and Maceholder] has been doing everything he can to deny they are there during his parties, but people have been seeing them, snatching meals from tables.'

A current resident of the hotel, Miss G Slattery of England, denied reports of rodents, and —unprompted—cockroaches, as well. 'If anyone has heard rats, it is likely an urchin running loose.' she told a reporter of the Free Press earlier today.

Dr T Fring, expert in zoology, confirms that New Babbage is home to a large breed of rodent, rattus gigantus, which is known to seek shelter in dwellings during winter months.  'They're all over this [redacted] town.  We're lousy with them.  You can quote me on that.'

It is unknown at the time of writing whether any rats in the city, of any size, are carriers of the plague.

Reporter Locked Out Of Office

NEWSPAPER SHUT DOWN

4th ESTATE COMPROMISED

RETURN OF REGULAR SERVICE IMMINENT

NEW BABBAGE, NB — The madness of the recent weeks in the city reached its crescendo late last week, when Mr B Heed —owner and proprietor of the Bucket of Blood Public House on Abney Parkway West, in the borough of Coronet Gardens— changed the locks on the offices of the New Babbage Free Press, which shares the same property.

Mr O Penrose —publisher, editor-in-chief, and primary reporter for the New Babbage Free Press— was quoted as stating, 'It started with Mr Mornington and his annex, then the folks at the Gangplank jumped in.  It wasn't long before Mr Heed named his property Bucket Land.'

Based on the inked refuse left behind in the offices, now re-opened thanks to the Mayor's Office, it is thought that Mr Heed attempted to publish his own newspaper in the interim, but was unable to properly engage the delicate and complicated equipment therein.

While the damages to the office itself were significant, the long-term damage to the essential machinery was minimal and Mr Penrose assures the Free Press that the Free Press will be up and running at regular speed forthwith.

Announcement From Acting Mayor Underby

NEW BABBAGE, NB — Acting mayor Mr O Underby — in lieu of Clockwinder Tenk — issued a statement to the press, earlier today:

Citizens of New Babbage,

It is with a heavy heart that I must now divulge priveleged information which I had promised myself I would never reveal.  Though my reputation is, to my utter sorrow, apparently permanently tarnished in the eyes of many in this community, I have always considered myself a man of honor.  As such, I intended to take the information I am about to impart to my grave with me.  However, the recent actions of Mr Mornington, have left me little choice: the very reason for Mayor Tenk's prolonged absense is Mr Mornington himself.

As can come as no surprise to those who have recently been following Mr Mornington's climb from popular and wealthy hotelier to deranged despot, much has been weighing on the man's mind.  It would weigh on anyone's mind to know within your very soul to be the cause of the misery you claim to alleviate.
Those who know well our hardworking mayor understand he entertains certain quirks of character.  Most overlook these quirks, since the pros so obviously outweigh the cons, when it comes to Clockwinder Tenk.  Mr Mornington, in his zeal for power, took his recent Christmas Buffet as an excuse to direly insult the mayor, sending the small man into a powerful rage.  As his trusted assistant, I attempted to console and alleviate the insult, but it could not be undone.

Tenk fled the city, fit to be tied.  I was left with the responsibilty of acting mayor, which no doubt caused great umbrage to the assistant mace holder of the city.
Despite what many claim, I take my responsibility as acting mayor with utmost seriousness.  I understand that there are several who consider my methods heavy-handed, draconian, and dictatorial.  Sadly, after much reflection, I must agree with them.

It is with maximum humility that I must acknowledge that my curfew plan was met with widespread derision, and not without good reason. It was a plan drawn up under diress, after receiving a mountain of correspondence from disparate citizens demanding something be done about the recent horrors which have afflicted our fine city.  Plans created under such circumstances are rarely successful, this one least of all. 

The initial plan was for a brief curfew, which would give time to investigate these heinous crimes, and hopefully keep the population safe whilst doing so.  However, Mornington took the opportunity to use his underworld connexions (which had been rumored, though never confirmed) to attempt to cripple an already delicate situation, by demanding citywide labor strikes which caused much strife and prolonged the curfew efforts.  These are clearly not the actions of someone with the best interests of the city at heart.

 Mr Mornington discovered that the city of New Babbage is not crushed so easily, however, as most public houses around the city made the best of the situation, setting up cots and caring for citizens through the long winter nights.  Mr Mornington's reaction to this solidarity and ingenuity? To pronounce himself Prime Minister of his own sovereign land.

For my part, I now realize how sloppily put together the initial curfew Night Patrol was, and wish to rectify the situation, whilst it may still be possible.  I have dissolved the original Night Patrol effective immediately, and already sworn in a plethora of new peace officers, young bright-eyed and optimistic officers who wish nothing but to aid and assist this city, to get it back on its feet so that it may be in better condition than it was left by Mayor Tenk, when he ultimately arrives back.  With the cooperation of the citizens, I am certain this investigation can be cleared up in next to no time.

Mornington will pay for his actions when Tenk returns, so I urge citizens to not attempt to take the law into their own hands, and to indulge the assistant mace holder in his delusions until he can be safely dealt with.

Humbly, and with great Humility,

Mr Osgoode Underby, Acting Mayor of the City-State of New Babbage

Hotelier Claims Academy As Independent State

ASSISTANT MACE-HOLDER DECLARES INDEPENDANCE

ACT IS 'TECHNICALLY LEGAL'

'MORNINGTOWN SHOULD BE INVADED', SAYS MAYOR'S ASSISTANT

NEW BABBAGE, NB — Local prominent hotelier Mr V Mornington has declared the Academy of Industry as an independent township, having effectively seceded from the City-State of New Babbage.

The surprising move came as a reaction to the Acting Mayor's refusal to bend to the demands recently proposed by the Assistant Mace-Holder of the city, a move made possible through intricate bureaucratic manipulation of municipal bylaws.

'Mornington owns thirty precent of the area, there is precious little the acting mayor can do to counter such an act.  It is, technically, legal.' stated Mr E Pendergust of the New Babbage Department of Land and Holdings, to a representative of the Free Press.

Mr Underby was unavailable for comment, however his assistant Mr R Dorchester stated 'We shall see how long this farce can continue.  By Mr Mornington's own admission, his township is no longer part of the city of New Babbage, so the law implemented after the Obolenskydonia - which is, of course, a New Babbage bylaw - means nothing in the alleged township of Morningtown.'

Mr Dorchester did not wish to venture a guess as to how the acting mayor would react to Mr Mornington's move, but stated that if it were up to him, he 'would invade with extreme prejudice.'

Curfew Strife Cripples City

CHAOS IN THE PORT

CITY CLAIMS LABORERS CANNOT BE PLEASED

ACTING MAYOR RETALIATES

NEW BABBAGE, NB — Heeding the ultimatum issued on Tuesday by prominent hotelier, Mr V Mornington, the dock workers at the New Babbage Port have officially gone on strike, bottlenecking all shipments in and out via the Vernian Sea.

Barrels bobbing in the frigid waters of the Port indicate the dire levels this strike has already reached, as the entire Port District is in utter and complete disarray with mountains of crates, barrels, boxes, and trunks having clogged up what is already a thoroughly congested area of the city. 'This will only get worse as time crawls on, believe me.  Think about it, this has only been one day.' stated Mr R Douglas of Clockhaven, a dock worker in the 'Swing Shift' division of labor.

Miss N Nymlet, a member of the ad hoc New Babbage Night Watch scoffed at the labor dispute, stating, 'There's no way to please the working man, it seems.  Either they complain that they have to work nights, or that they are not allowed to.'  When asked by a reporter from the Free Press how this matter might be cleared up, she suggested, 'It could be easily rectified if they would only hire more day labor.'

When questioned on rumors of members of the Night Watch taking bribes from citizens to be allowed passage on the streets after dark, Miss Nymlet responded, 'No comment.'

Mr O Underby, acting mayor — in lieu of Clockwinder Tenk — has still refused to comment to the Free Press, but in what some believe to be a form of response to the strike has closed down Cuffs Public House at the corner of Savory Street and Abney Parkway, a well-known social meeting place for the dock workers of the area.  The reason for the closing has not been made public, however a source within City Hall has suggested tax evasion may be a cause.

City Rife With Political Insubordination

CITY ERUPTS INTO CHAOS

ROYALTY ARRESTED BY ACTING MAYOR

UNDERBY AN ANARCHIST?

NEW BABBAGE, NB — Following the statement calling for citywide curfew made by acting mayor Mr O Underby — in lieu of Clockwinder Tenk, who is still unaccounted for — the city has erupted into outrage and indignation.

Citizens responded to the statement in a myriad of disparate manners, many by boldly marching en masse into the streets after dark, some by painting incendiary graffito on the walls of City Hall, and prominent hotelier Mr V Mornington issuing a stern ultimatum to the acting mayor.

Several arrests for curfew breaking were made, including a report that Her Royal Highness, Queen Victoria, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland, Empress of India, and Defender of the Faith, was amongst those incarcerated in makeshift holding cells.

Assaults and beatings by the ad hoc night patrols were also reported.  A feline, who identified himself only as Joojoo, described the scene he witnessed thusly, 'Sticking to rooftops I got a grand view of the chaos. Watched a gang of the night watch beat up a drunk until he spewed across the cobbles.  Jolly good fun.'  When asked what he thought the final outcome of this misery might be, the feline responded, 'If Underby is fired when Tenk returns perhaps he can apply with that Tiny Scallion Group, he created some right proper anarchy last night.'

Reports of the monarch of England currently residing in New Babbage, in custody of city workers or otherwise, have as yet been unconfirmed by the Free Press, at the time of printing.  Mr O Underby was unavailable for comment.

Curfew Ultimatum Posed

CITY BANKRUPTED IF CURFEW CONTINUES?

CITIZENS PLAN TO REBEL

ACTING MAYOR'S ASSISTANT ISSUES PUBLIC THREAT

NEW BABBAGE, NB — The New Babbage Free Press was wired the following missive only moments ago, and immediately began to print a special edition:

Dear Citizens of New Babbage,

As some of you may know, our esteemed ACTING Mayor, Mr Underby, has put in motion a city wide curfew which starts at fall of night and ends upon daybreak.

As we all know, New Babbage is currently in the mid winter period, a season when the nights are extremley long, and the days very short.  I have been talking with the Port Authority gang workers and their foremen and they have assured me that if this curfew keeps going, the Port Authority will end up being held liable for spoiled good which are not able to make landfall due to this curfew our ACTING mayor has implemented.

Not only this, but the pubs, bars and restaurants of the city have now seen on average a 70% drop in takings over the past 2 days of this curfew as all of our nighttime revelers, employees, caterers and delivery gangs are not able to make their rounds.  This curfew is bankrupting the city!

As a concerned citizen of this city, and the owner of the largest bar and restaurant, i have sent out this missive to let the good township know that if ACTING Mayor Underby does not withdraw his Curfew by the evening of Tuesday the 22nd, that myself, and the patrons and restaurant visitors will purposefully break his curfew.   The port workers gangs have also shown an interest to go on strike as from Wednesday the 23rd and the workers at Hawksley Water Pump Station have also followed suit.

I will not have my bar go bankrupt due to the misguided attempts of a politician to wield his ACTING mayor powers!

Signed,

Victor Mornington

Brunel Hall Hotel

The Hawksley Water Pumping Station

Acting mayor Mr O Underby — in lieu of Clockwinder Tenk — was unavailable for comment at the time of printing, however, his assistant Mr R Dorchester stated, 'The mayor's office will not be held responsible for any injuries incurred by seditious citizens.'

Art Museum Opens In Clockhaven

HOTELIER OPENS GALLERY

SAYS ARTISTS ARE DESTITUTE

PHILISTINE BUTCHER DISAPPROVES

NEW BABBAGE, NB — If a city's worth is measured by its devotion to the arts, let it be known that New Babbage is this day rather corpulent indeed, as hotelier Mr V Morningtea of Brunel Hall inaugurates the New Babbage Gallery of Art in the Clockhaven district.

The opening of the museum — which is situated on the waterfront of Clockhaven Port, on Harrison Street at Temple Lane — will give aspiring and established artists a chance to display their works to the public.

Mr Morningtea believes this to be an important aspect of the museum, stating, 'As we all know, artists are scraping by day to day, which is why citizens who are invited to show their work in the museum will be able to sell them... so everyone can enjoy their fine work.'

Not all citizens, however, share the wealthy hotelier's excitement over the opening.  Mr R Bohns, owner and proprietor of RB Meats Butcher Shop in Coronet Gardens, was quoted as stating, 'Only art [which] gets my hackles up is wanted posters. So long as I'm not on them, I don't have to worry none.'

Mr Morningtea is confident Babbagers will respond enthusiastically to the gallery, and vehemently denies the gallery is any way a tax dodge.