Annual Pancake Race Marred By Cheating Claims

THIS YEAR'S RACE IN THE CANALS DISTRICT

YOUNG LAD WINS TWO

CHEATER CUT THROUGH THE PARK, WITNESSES CLAIM

New Babbage, NB  — The annual Pancake Toss Race was held again yesterday afternoon in the Canals District, at Doyle's Place, directly in front of Ruby's Public House.  This year's race was a circuit of the circumference of Steampunk Park.

The race, as is usual, was held in three sub-races, those being: Children's Race; Adult's Race; and All-In-One.

The Children's Race, and the All-In-One, were won by young master Jimmy Bracket, who has won several times in the past. "Oy's oike ta thank everyone faw their support awl year." he told a reporter of the Free Press yesterday afternoon, directly after his win.

The Adult's Race was the subject of some controversy, as charges of cheating were bandied by some in the crowd.  The winner of the race was ostensibly one Mr R Boloney of Wheatstone, though some have challenged his win, claiming he cut through the park during the run.  "It is quite true, I saw him duck into the park after having some trouble getting a good speed up after the shout of go was called." said a Mr R Upton of Babbage Square, to a representative of the Free Press.

"Nonsense." said Mr R Boloney, himself.  "They're all just jealous. Is it a cash prize?"

Anarchist Bomber Arrested

SUSPECT ARRESTED WHILST DRUNK

HINTED THERE ARE MORE BOMBINGS TO COME

CONNEXION TO ANARCHIST GROUP UNCERTAIN

NEW BABBAGE, NB — A man was arrested at Doyle Place, in the Canal District, yesterday in connexion with the bombing of the tracks in the Fells, north of the City of New Babbage, on January 5.

The New Babbage Milita has not officially released the name of the suspect at the time of printing, but unnamed sources within the organization have unofficially named the bomber as one Mr E Grady, aged 29, of Phaeton's Landing.

Grady was arrested by Commodore Dagger of the New Babbage Militia at Ruby's Public House in the early evening yesterday, after some minor altercation.  Mr M Cutbush, bartender at Ruby's, was quoted as stating, 'He been in and out of here for two weeks near, get his self drunk and start heavily hinting about bombing the tracks. T'was no secret here.  Miss Dagger gave me a sawbuck to keep the drinks pouring into him, and he soon enough confessed outright to her. It were quite a show for the rest of us.'

Mr R Bladderstick, of no fixed address, who has imbibed with the accused on several occasions in the past, claims that Grady does not live permanently in New Babbage, stating, 'He got a room he stays in.  [He] works fer summan, [and] bragged 'bout how much he made for some job was mentioned in da papers and kep' hintin he was only waiting 'round for his next job.'

Mr Grady's connexion to the Tiny Scallion Group anarchist organization, if indeed there is one, has yet to be ascertained.  The Tiny Scallion Group claimed responsibility for the bombing earlier this month, in a statement addressed to acting mayor Mr O Underby, at City Hall.  Mr Underby was unavailable for comment at the time of printing.

Queer Localized Fog In Canal District

FOG FIRST WITNESSED BY DRUNK

REPORTED SMALL AND HIGHLY DENSE

POSSIBLY GREEN IN HUE AND GLOWING

NEW BABBAGE, NB — A queerly small and highly localized fog was reported in the Canal District of New Babbage last night, according to sources.

The small fog cloud — which was highly dense, and approximately eight feet in diameter at its widest point — was first noticed around 8 o' clock PM at Doyle Place, directly in front of Ruby's Public House, by a Mr R Bladderstick.

'It were like noffink I ever seen!' he stated later.  '[It] sat in place for near ten minutes, it were already there when I came out [of Ruby's Public House] ter take, er... take de fresh air, yes.  Dat's de ticket.  Still there when I came back in.  It were a long, er... breathe.'

The fog cloud was soon after observed to float slowly and meanderingly to the north west, where it was next spotted on Bow Street by a Miss Velma Forgrave, a local spinster.

'I have never in all my years witnessed something so utterly sinister.' she stated, from within her home, refusing to step outside to speak to a reporter from the Free Press.  'It would sit in one spot for minutes at a time, and then float somewhere else, only to remain immobile again for an ungodly amount of time.  It's reasons such as this that I stay indoors near always now.  I tell my nephew Cyrus constantly about how vile, how utterly and horribly vile, this world is.'

The fog cloud was last spotted floating toward the Shipworks on Canal Street around half 11 o' clock PM, where it is reported to have finally floated away into the sky over the Vernian Sea.

Reports that the fog cloud was chartreuse in hue, or emitted a faint phosphorescence in certain circumstances, have been unverified at the time of printing.