City Rife With Political Insubordination

CITY ERUPTS INTO CHAOS

ROYALTY ARRESTED BY ACTING MAYOR

UNDERBY AN ANARCHIST?

NEW BABBAGE, NB — Following the statement calling for citywide curfew made by acting mayor Mr O Underby — in lieu of Clockwinder Tenk, who is still unaccounted for — the city has erupted into outrage and indignation.

Citizens responded to the statement in a myriad of disparate manners, many by boldly marching en masse into the streets after dark, some by painting incendiary graffito on the walls of City Hall, and prominent hotelier Mr V Mornington issuing a stern ultimatum to the acting mayor.

Several arrests for curfew breaking were made, including a report that Her Royal Highness, Queen Victoria, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland, Empress of India, and Defender of the Faith, was amongst those incarcerated in makeshift holding cells.

Assaults and beatings by the ad hoc night patrols were also reported.  A feline, who identified himself only as Joojoo, described the scene he witnessed thusly, 'Sticking to rooftops I got a grand view of the chaos. Watched a gang of the night watch beat up a drunk until he spewed across the cobbles.  Jolly good fun.'  When asked what he thought the final outcome of this misery might be, the feline responded, 'If Underby is fired when Tenk returns perhaps he can apply with that Tiny Scallion Group, he created some right proper anarchy last night.'

Reports of the monarch of England currently residing in New Babbage, in custody of city workers or otherwise, have as yet been unconfirmed by the Free Press, at the time of printing.  Mr O Underby was unavailable for comment.

Anarchist Bomber Arrested

SUSPECT ARRESTED WHILST DRUNK

HINTED THERE ARE MORE BOMBINGS TO COME

CONNEXION TO ANARCHIST GROUP UNCERTAIN

NEW BABBAGE, NB — A man was arrested at Doyle Place, in the Canal District, yesterday in connexion with the bombing of the tracks in the Fells, north of the City of New Babbage, on January 5.

The New Babbage Milita has not officially released the name of the suspect at the time of printing, but unnamed sources within the organization have unofficially named the bomber as one Mr E Grady, aged 29, of Phaeton's Landing.

Grady was arrested by Commodore Dagger of the New Babbage Militia at Ruby's Public House in the early evening yesterday, after some minor altercation.  Mr M Cutbush, bartender at Ruby's, was quoted as stating, 'He been in and out of here for two weeks near, get his self drunk and start heavily hinting about bombing the tracks. T'was no secret here.  Miss Dagger gave me a sawbuck to keep the drinks pouring into him, and he soon enough confessed outright to her. It were quite a show for the rest of us.'

Mr R Bladderstick, of no fixed address, who has imbibed with the accused on several occasions in the past, claims that Grady does not live permanently in New Babbage, stating, 'He got a room he stays in.  [He] works fer summan, [and] bragged 'bout how much he made for some job was mentioned in da papers and kep' hintin he was only waiting 'round for his next job.'

Mr Grady's connexion to the Tiny Scallion Group anarchist organization, if indeed there is one, has yet to be ascertained.  The Tiny Scallion Group claimed responsibility for the bombing earlier this month, in a statement addressed to acting mayor Mr O Underby, at City Hall.  Mr Underby was unavailable for comment at the time of printing.

Citywide Curfew In Effect

MURDER RAMPAGE SHUTS DOWN CITY AFTER DARK

THOSE ROAMING STREETS WILL BE ARRESTED

ACTING MAYOR REFUSES TO ELABORATE

NEW BABBAGE, NB — After the recent slew of abominable murders within the city, acting mayor Mr O Underby — in lieu of Clockwinder Tenk — issued a statement to the press, earlier today:

Effective immediately, and until further notice is announced, a citywide curfew is to be put into effect.  Persons of all ages are to remain indoors after sundown, and remain so until sun up - no exceptions.  Any person, or persons, found roaming city streets without authorized permission (of which none will be granted) will be subject to immediate arrest and detention at Militia Headquarters until they can be tried for their crime, or the curfew is lifted - whichever occurs first.  It is for the protection of the citizens that this extreme measure has been taken, and we hope you will do your part to conform and protect one another in this abysmal period of the city's history.  —Mr O Underby

Mr Underby refused to answer any further questions for the Free Press at the time of announcing the curfew.