Crazed Asylum Worker Vandalizes Newspaper Office

CRAZED MENACE RUNS AMOK!

FREE SPEECH UNDER ASSAULT BY RUFFIAN!

A staff member of the Murgham Asylum willfully and unlawfully damaged the back steps of the New Babbage Free Press office on Tuesday evening. Witnesses state that Dr. Rance Veterinarian began pulling apart the staircase in a frenzy of shouting and frantic activity, and despite his obvious age and infirmity pulled away several of the stair treads before running away towards the pumping station.

“He was acting all nervous and crazy-like” a local urchin was heard to say.

The readers should know that your local newspaper will not be deterred by this wanton attack on the Fourth Estate, and will not rest until the perpetrator is brought to justice for his crimes.

Pugh Lister, Staff Reporter NBFP

Rescue Team Disappears in the North

MURGAM ASYLUM CONNECTED TO RESCUE EFFORT?

CPT. HINREEKS RUMORED TO BE INVOLVED

TEAM ABANDONED BY CITY HALL

WULDRAM SHORES — Who rescues a rescue mission?  Mr Pendle, of the Clockhaven Wireless Telegraph Service, has confirmed that the CWTS has lost all contact with the rescue expedition which was launched to attempt to aid Dr A Falkone of the Clockhaven Power Station.

Dr Falkone journeyed north alone some weeks ago, via the airship Carpetia, attempting to ascertain why contact was lost with the northern Aquila IX Station in Wuldram Shores.  Shortly thereafter, New Babbage also lost contact with Dr Falkone.

In response, a rescue mission was formed, though an certain air of mystery surrounded the effort. Attempts by the Free Press to discover precisely who were members of the rescue team were firmly rebuffed by members of City Hall.  Eye-witness reports, however, have suggested Mr J Rite, head of security at the Murgam Asylum, and Miss B Strifkly, an orderly at the Murgam Asylum, were very strong candidates.  Mr Carnagak, owner of the Murgam Asylum, could not be reached for comment as to how the asylum was involved in the rescue effort, at the time of publishing.

Whether or not Captain B Hinreeks, of the New Babbage Militia, was a member of the now missing rescue party could not be confirmed.  Mr R Bolono of Wheatstone, volunteer member of the New Babbage Militia, was quoted as saying "I will not say for certain that [Cpt. Hinreeks] is not here, and I will not say for certain that she is here, but I really will not say she is not here."

Mr Pendle of the CWTS said he lost contact with the rescue team when they encountered another airship in an ice storm in the Hildskal Mountains, but would not confirm pirates were involved.

A representative of City Hall told the New Babbage Free Press that there are currently no plans to form another rescue team.

WANT ADS

WANTED:   Landscape gardener for extensive installation and maintenance of hotel grounds.  Apply noon to 2pm to Lady J. Moldylocks at Essex House Hotel, Wheatstone Waterways.  References required.

Orderlies needed for Murgam Asylum.  Must be strong and able to follow instruction.  Contact Dr Vartarian, Murgam Asylum, 33 New Street, Wheatstone Waterways.

WANTED:  Young strapping lads willing to perform strenuous manual labor, no questions asked.  Must be discrete.  Contact Dr M Miggins, Jefferson Way Mortuary, Babbage Square.

NEED: Bottle of Chateau d'Yquem Sauternes wine 1787, unopened.  Willing to pay a princely sum!  Contact R Bologna at Essex House Hotel, Wheatstone.

From AZ to LK 5.19.12.5.0.13.23.26.26.15.10.0.17.26.26.23.0.8.20.23.23.0.18.20.7.16.0.5.19.16.0.18.12.24.16.0.12.8.12.10

Asylum Administrator's Health Declines

AGED ADMINISTRATOR'S HEALTH DECLINES

SANITARIUM MORALE LOW

ORDERLY'S HEALTH MAINTAINS

NEW BABBAGE, NB — It has been reported to the Free Press that Murgam Asylum Administrator Dr T Solson's condition has steadily declined, since being shot in the shoulder on Saturday afternoon.

Solson, aged 62, is currently unable to rise from bed of his own accord, and has become repeatedly, though occasionally, confused, according to those tending to his care.

He was struck by a bullet on Saturday 5 January, by one Mr H Cortmon.  His condition shortly after the shooting was considered serious, though not life threatening, and expected to improve.

The news has come as a blow to sanitarium morale, already low since the shooting.  'We lost two patients in that horror, Dr Solson and Mr Arnold were shot, now this.' stated an employee, who wished to remain nameless.

The condition of Mr Arnold, the feline orderly also injured in the incident at Murgam Asylum in south Wheatstone, is unchanged.

Emergency Care Facility Erected Next To Asylum

OWNER OF ASYLUM SPURRED TO HELP

CITIZENS OUTRAGED BY LACK OF CITY HOSPITAL

FOOD POISONINGS LINGER ON

NEW BABBAGE, NB — The owner of the Murgam Asylum, one Mr Z Carnagak, has been spurred by recent horrific events to commence construction on an emergency facility immediately beside his grim and imposing sanitarium.

The city has been without a full medical care facility since Wilde Hospital burned down under suspicious circumstances in July of last year, a situation which has not sat well with some citizens.

'It is altogether an appalling embarrassment that a city the size and [with the] reputation of New Babbage should go [for] so long without a proper hospital.' stated Mrs R Thistle of Wheatstone, to a representative of the New Babbage Free Press earlier today.

The new emergency care facility is being fully funded by Mr Carnagak.  When asked to confirm whether the construction was a response to the recent tragedy which occurred within his sanitarium, Carnagak merely stated that 'it would seem prudent, given the circumstances, to invest in an emergency care facility in this city.'

Several citizens still suffering from a spate of acute food poisonings originating from the Bucket of Blood Public House on Abney Parkway West have already lined up outside the construction site, in hopes of receiving medical aid.

Tragic Scene in South Wheatstone

GANG RAMPAGES THROUGH ASYLUM

HEAD ADMINISTRATOR GRAVELY INJURED

MAIN SUSPECT DEAD

NEW BABBAGE, NB — The large, grim Murgam Asylum in the south Wheatstone area of New Babbage was the scene of a grisly crime earlier today, when a group of ill-tempered men forced their way inside of the institution and brutally assaulted the head administrator, a Dr. T Solson.

The gang of ruffians was apparently lead by a gentleman named Cortland, a former inmate and employee of the asylum, who dangerously and brazenly brandished a blade.  Cortland, an unpopular man in the neighborhood, is believed to have suffered a psychotic break due to an abrupt employment dismissal, in conjunction with several close associates recently falling victim to tragic and untimely deaths - a fate he himself was to succumb to before the affair was over.  Cortland was found laying inert in a pool of swiftly coagulating blood, apparently a victim of suicide by his own hand.

Following the suicide, the gang was brought under control by a Miss B Hineriks, a volunteer member of the New Babbage Milita, though unfortunately not before the geriatric Dr. Solson was already gravely injured.

A doctor at the asylum, one Dr. C Surtson, found his professional resolve shaken by the scene, and was found pacing agitatedly in a stupor outside, so graphic was the gore inside.  A witness on-site described the scene as 'gruesome'.

Dr. T Solson was considered to be in serious, but not life-threatening, condition; the man Cortland was pronounced dead on the scene.  A feline orderly was also injured.