MATCHMAKING WAS INTENDED FOR MAYOR
MAYOR'S ARRIVAL ASSURED TO BE 'IMMINENT'
NEW BABBAGE, NB — Nearly four full days after scheduled arrival, Mayor Clockwinder Tenk is still missing, with telegraph messages to the city of Falun confirming he had departed on Saturday 5 January.
Length of time for travel between the two cities varies widely in extreme weather conditions, but rarely takes longer than a half day. Weather on Saturday 5 was extremely cold on the Fells, but conditions were mostly visible.
Passage through the Fells on the Bump Line was made impossible when the tracks were demolished just north of the New Babbage city walls. An anarchist organization known as the Tiny Scallions Group has claimed responsibility for the attack.
Two trains were halted, en route to New Babbage from Falun at the time of the disaster, though the mayor was discovered to have not been accounted for on either train.
Tenk was visiting family in Falun for the holidays, an annual excursion for him. The New Babbage Free Press has learned from reliable sources in Falun that the mayor's family had hoped to secure matrimonial bonds between their family and another prominent mining family. It is unknown at this time what the mayor's reaction to the proposal was.
Acting mayor, Mr O Underby, when asked for a comment whilst having his head shaved at the Clockwork Close Barber Shop in the Palisades, opined that 'finding a suitable bride is the most exceedingly difficult of any endeavor ever embarked upon by man', and that Mr Tenk may be encountering more trouble than most in this regard as 'there seems to be a stunning lack of bearded ladies in this world. More's the pity.'
It has been suggested by some that the mayor is presently attempting air travel over the Fells, and his arrival is imminent.
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