Wealthy Socialite Disappears in Bump

STEAMWEAVER DISAPPEARED WHILST "SLUMMING"

SOCIALITE FEARED TO HAVE BEEN CONSUMED

MORE CLASS INEQUALITY SAYS SOCIAL REFORMER

New Babbage, NB — Wealthy socialite Aldous Steamweaver, of the Palisade District, disappeared yesterday in the remote northern town of Bump.  He had allegedly travelled to the small town as an "elephant hunting" expedition, as the wealthy apparently refer to what is colloquially known as "slumming".

Steamweaver was traveling with his golfing partner, Efram Tripsa, who reported him missing after entering Bump Central Hotel, yet never exiting.  "[Aldous] went in to rent some suites for the two of us, and never returned.  After two hours or so I entered, enquiring as to his whereabouts.  The owners of the hotel fairly pretended he had never met Aldous!  I fear I am lucky to have escaped with my life!"

Rumors that unspeakable horrors take place  in the town of Bump have run rampant for years, though authorities have never officially investigated any disappearances.

Mrs E Crinkle of Babbage Square, of the New Babbage League of Social Welfare and Reform, claims this is another example of the jarringly different classes of our sooty city, "Many of our citizens have gone missing in Bump over the years, this is no secret... but not until a Steamweaver disappeared did it make the papers."

The New Babbage Militia is sending representatives to Bump to investigate the disappearance of Aldous Steamweaver further.  Captain Hienrix could not be reached for comment, as she is currently on an expedition to the far north.