Wednesday, January 20

Kidnapping Cannibal Stalks Street Unfortunates

Artist's rendition of the fiend, based upon eye-witness accounts - illustration by Myron Bleek




New Babbage, NB — The frigid and bleak streets of New Babbage have been perpetually jeopardous for the throngs of youths who make their homes there, but recently the dangers have increased tenfold, as news of a kidnapping fiend stalking the city's unfortunates hit the streets.

"He's huge and he stuffs them in a sack." said a youth named Petra Flack, earlier today.  "His face is all corpsey, and he's got weird green eyes, he smells like woobaloo's backside."

Most recently a street youth known as "Unlucky Emily" was snatched in public, from amongst a group of approximately twenty of the unfortunates.  Weeks earlier, a sea-faring lad named  Swift Will was snatched from the Gangplank Public House in Clockhaven, this time amongst adult witnesses who put up little fight, though their senses were no doubt muddled some by the drink.

Most public speculation seems to agree that the fiend consumes the children he kidnaps.  "Oh, he eats them for sure.  One time he kidnapped a kid . . . then his bones were found in the tunnels." commented a young unfortunate named Marteel, earlier today.  "He is very open about it." said Mr J Wreet to the Free Press.  "He's a monster.  I tried to stop him [at the Gangplank Public House] but he threw me aside like a toy."

Others in the city have different ideas of what the fiend does with the children.  "It is clear to me that this gentleman is using the filthy little scamps as slave labor." said Father O Moonwoll of the Church of the Builder.  "They would be much more valuable in that capacity, than as sustenance.  Have you seen any of them?  Most are skin and bones, yet one little porker waddles these streets daily, seemingly unmolested.  If dinner was the cad's intention, that round one would have been first on the menu."

This fiend has kidnapped several of the youths over the years, seemingly without any resistance from the powers that be in the city.  "T'is a class problem, plain and simple.' said Miss P Prim, of the New Babbage League of Social Welfare and Reform to a reporter of the Free Press.  She continued: "Had these children been the offspring of the city's wealthy and elite, there would be a public outcry, but since these children are orphans, and often seen as a nuisance by the populace, it is swiftly brushed under the rug."  When asked whether she thought city officials were secretly in favor of the fiend, Miss Prim chose not to comment.

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