ANARCHISM IS A RED HERRING
WOMEN'S GROUP BAFFLED
WHO WAS BOMBER WORKING FOR?
NEW BABBAGE, NB — The supposed anarchist organization known as 'The Tiny Scallion Group' — which claimed responsibility for the bombing of the train tracks in the Fells, north of the city of New Babbage, earlier this month — has been discovered by agents from Terranova Investigations to be a total and consummate fabrication.
Mrs J Daggar — owner, proprietor, and chief agent of Terranova Investigations — has stated that the confessed bomber of the tracks, one Mr E O'Grady of Phaeton's Landing, confirmed after a thorough interrogation, that he was not, nor had he ever been, a member of any anarchist organization.
The guilty man further claimed that the name 'Tiny Scallions Group' meant nothing to him. Mrs Daggar, after painstaking investigation has discovered that the name had formerly, and still currently, belongs to a women's cooking group, which focuses primarily on dishes containing green onions in some form.
'I had indeed wondered why my grandchildren should suddenly become so interested in Granny's omelet recipes.' stated Mrs E Gleet of the Canal District, Treasurer of the authentic Tiny Scallion Group, to a representative of the Free Press earlier today.
Mrs Daggar confirmed that Mr O'Grady admitted to having performed the heinous act at the behest of another individual, for active remuneration, but declined to offer a name to the press, stating that anything she said could possibly 'jeopardize the investigation, which is ongoing.'