OWNER OF ASYLUM SPURRED TO HELP
CITIZENS OUTRAGED BY LACK OF CITY HOSPITAL
FOOD POISONINGS LINGER ON
NEW BABBAGE, NB — The owner of the Murgam Asylum, one Mr Z Carnagak, has been spurred by recent horrific events to commence construction on an emergency facility immediately beside his grim and imposing sanitarium.
The city has been without a full medical care facility since Wilde Hospital burned down under suspicious circumstances in July of last year, a situation which has not sat well with some citizens.
'It is altogether an appalling embarrassment that a city the size and [with the] reputation of New Babbage should go [for] so long without a proper hospital.' stated Mrs R Thistle of Wheatstone, to a representative of the New Babbage Free Press earlier today.
The new emergency care facility is being fully funded by Mr Carnagak. When asked to confirm whether the construction was a response to the recent tragedy which occurred within his sanitarium, Carnagak merely stated that 'it would seem prudent, given the circumstances, to invest in an emergency care facility in this city.'
Several citizens still suffering from a spate of acute food poisonings originating from the Bucket of Blood Public House on Abney Parkway West have already lined up outside the construction site, in hopes of receiving medical aid.