Thursday, January 17

Repairs On Fells Bridge Commences



REPAIRS ON TRACKS BEGIN

ACTING MAYOR CLAIMS LONG WAIT IS NORMAL

ANARCHISTS STILL WALK FREE

THE FELLS, NB — Commerce by rail will soon enough be rolling once again, as repairs begin on the tracks in the Fells, north of the walls of the city of New Babbage.

Construction began in the wee hours of Wednesday morning, and are expected to continue throughout the week.  Actual trains are expected to be running again shortly before the end of the month.

When asked why repairs have taken almost two weeks to begin, acting Mayor Mr O Underbee was quoted as stating, 'Despite what the plebeian might believe, these sorts of municipal matters do not take place over night.' He continued, 'There is a good deal of red tape one must snip through to even have a ribbon-cutting ceremony rubber nipple factory, believe me I like it less than anyone else.'

The tracks were damaged earlier in the month by explosion; an anarchist organization known as the Tiny Scallion Group has claimed responsibility for the heinous act.  Investigation into the group is ongoing, according to an unnamed member of the New Babbage Militia.


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