NIGHT WATCH PURUES HORRIBLE BEAST
ACTING MAYOR'S ORDER VINDICATED
NEW BABBAGE, NB — Wild and varying reports of attacks by a wild beast in the Babbage Square area inundated the office of the Free Press this morning. According to sources, at least one large and terrifying animal rampaged, for an undisclosed amount of time, on city streets last evening during curfew.
Descriptions of the beast, by eye witnesses to the event, conflict drastically. Some have described to reporters from the Free Press a man-shaped aquatic monstrosity, others a large mechanical rhinoceros, while still others depict the animal as a large creature of the lupine persuasion.
By all accounts, the lusus naturae was closely pursued through the dark quiet streets by members of the Night Watch, organized recently by upstanding acting mayor Mr O Onderby. Several vollies of ammunition were discharged at the creature to keep it moving, resulting in some minor fires in the extreme — and potentially hazardous — clutter of the Port area.
'Couldn't help it, boxes and crates were everywhere. We had to keep the monster moving toward the city gates.' stated Mr K Hoolihan, a member of the Night Watch. Miss N Nimly, another member of the Night Watch, stated, 'Just goes to show that the Night Watch is necessary. And those dock workers will get someone killed, if they keep this up.'
The dock workers went on illegal strike earlier this week, at the behest of wealthy citizen Mr V Morningtown, crippling the local economy and putting citizens at dangerous risk, should they choose to stroll through the increasingly congested area. Mr Morningtown was unavailable for comment at the time of printing.