FOOD POISONING RELIEVED THROUGH HUMBUG
LOCAL MOUNTEBANK OUTRAGED
PLACEBO EFFECT AT WORK, CORONER SAYS
NEW BABBAGE, NB — An aged octogenarian, who practices the ostensibly mystical craft known as 'hoodoo', has begun to take patients in the Coronet Gardens neighborhood of west New Babbage, despite lacking a medical license, or any traditional training.
Mr L Laurent, aged 82, recently achieved neighborhood notoriety after successfully treating several serious cases of food poisonings. He claims to have learned the ancient folk techniques from his mother and grandmother.
Dr S Thornly however, who shares the adjoining office, is not as enthusiastic about the hoodoo techniques. 'It's hocum. Malarky. Humbug.' he stated, earlier today. 'I've seen how he treats food poisonings... some boiled weeds in a mason jar, rubbed on a black cat, then sipped by the patient. It's madness, I say.'
'I can treat food poisonings as well.' he continued, agitated. 'Dr Thornly's fantastical elixer treats ailments of all types, including diarrhea measles mumps chicken pox and hangovers.'
Dr M Moggins, formerly a practicing physician and now New Babbage City Coroner, stated to the Free Press, 'This sort of reaction is not uncommon. It is known as the placebo effect. The likelihood is that these patients recovered on their own, and would have without visiting this quack.' He further stated, 'The genuine danger is that, in future, these patients may visit the charlatan when ailing with something serious, which could well prove disastrous.'
The Free Press had received no response from officials at City Hall at time of printing, regarding the legality of Mr Laurent's practice.