FOG FIRST WITNESSED BY DRUNK
REPORTED SMALL AND HIGHLY DENSE
POSSIBLY GREEN IN HUE AND GLOWING
NEW BABBAGE, NB — A queerly small and highly localized fog was reported in the Canal District of New Babbage last night, according to sources.
The small fog cloud — which was highly dense, and approximately eight feet in diameter at its widest point — was first noticed around 8 o' clock PM at Doyle Place, directly in front of Ruby's Public House, by a Mr R Bladderstick.
'It were like noffink I ever seen!' he stated later. '[It] sat in place for near ten minutes, it were already there when I came out [of Ruby's Public House] ter take, er... take de fresh air, yes. Dat's de ticket. Still there when I came back in. It were a long, er... breathe.'
The fog cloud was soon after observed to float slowly and meanderingly to the north west, where it was next spotted on Bow Street by a Miss Velma Forgrave, a local spinster.
'I have never in all my years witnessed something so utterly sinister.' she stated, from within her home, refusing to step outside to speak to a reporter from the Free Press. 'It would sit in one spot for minutes at a time, and then float somewhere else, only to remain immobile again for an ungodly amount of time. It's reasons such as this that I stay indoors near always now. I tell my nephew Cyrus constantly about how vile, how utterly and horribly vile, this world is.'
The fog cloud was last spotted floating toward the Shipworks on Canal Street around half 11 o' clock PM, where it is reported to have finally floated away into the sky over the Vernian Sea.
Reports that the fog cloud was chartreuse in hue, or emitted a faint phosphorescence in certain circumstances, have been unverified at the time of printing.